I am currently taking a Creative Writing class here at Binghamton University. It's actually one of the few classes that I really look forward to attending. I've never had much experience with poetry, and that just so happens to be what the first half of the semester concentrates on. Up until now, the classes and poetry we've been reading have been great.
Recently, however, we were required to read some poetry by Maxine Kumin. I don't know, maybe I'm just too inexperienced to realize true poetry when I see it, but there's just something about her poetry that just doesn't sit right... I guess I'll just let you see it for yourself.
Heaven As Anus
by Maxine Kumin
In the Defense Department there is a shop
where scientists sew the eyelids of rabbits open
lest they blink in the scorch of a nuclear drop
and elsewhere dolphins are being taught to defuse
bombs in the mock-up of a harbor and monkeys
learn to perform the simple tasks of draftees.
It is done with the electric shocks. Some mice
who have failed their time tests in the maze
now go to the wire unbidden for their jolts.
Implanting electrodes yields rich results:
alley cats turn from predators into prey.
Show them a sparrow and they cower
while the whitewall labs fill up with the feces of fear
where calves whose hearts have been done away
with walk and bleat on plastic pumps.
And what is any of this to the godhead,
these squeals, whines, writhings, unexpected jumps,
whose children burn alive, booby-trap the dead,
lop ears and testicles, core and disembowel?
It all ends at the hole. No words may enter
the house of excrement. We will meet there
as the sphincter of the good Lord opens wide
and He takes us all inside.
Wow... Just wow. I don't even know what to say. I guess all I can do is sit back and pray for the day when God welcomes me into his gaping anus.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Two(2) Four(4) Zero (0)
It's Friday, which means the new issue of Pipe Dream has been released. I picked it up today, and immediately began searching for my Exercise story. I looked through every page, not finding anything until I reached the sports section. You know, that other side of the paper that no one really reads anyway. Perplexed, I assumed that the story had been put aside for next Tuesday's issue due to lack of space. I turned to the cover of the paper to begin reading through my fellow writers articles, when suddenly, there it was. My story, making cover again! And this time, not just the second story squeezed into the cover. It was the main headline!!! I am so psyched. I love writing, and the fact that the News Editors think my work is good enough to have the front page both times is such a huge confidence booster. I can hardly believe it. My first two news articles EVER, and I made front page both times. I really am amazed.
This only confirms my desire to be a writer. I'm sure now that this is what I will ultimately be doing in my life. Yes, I still plan on becoming a doctor. I truly feel that I will find my true joy in writing, regardless of where my medical profession leads me.
Hooray for clarity!
This only confirms my desire to be a writer. I'm sure now that this is what I will ultimately be doing in my life. Yes, I still plan on becoming a doctor. I truly feel that I will find my true joy in writing, regardless of where my medical profession leads me.
Hooray for clarity!
Friday, February 23, 2007
What School Is Really About
Well, it's Thursday night and another weekend lies teasingly out of reach. Lately, weekends have been getting me down. In fact, I become down-right emo when the weekend rolls around. Why, you ask? Because I've transferred to a new school and I only know a handful of people. That, coupled with the fact that I don't have a car to drive myself around in, means that my weekends are usually dead. And now, all I can do is sit in my room and try to study, while my mind drifts to happier times.
Times when on any given night I would find myself: playing Halo with the Sweet Suite guys, catching up on all the classic movies I missed out on with Eamon, playing Beer Pong and/or Civilization with Jason and John, talking about things that only we'd understand with Trevor, saying quotes from hilarious videos with Holly, singing my way through the New Testament with Nicole, having delicious drinks served to me by White, watching Disney movies with the Alpha Chi girls, hollaaaaaaa'in with Marcia; the list goes on and on.
And so as I sit here, neck deep in depression, I get a message from some girl named Holly. Amazingly, in one paragraph I am brought up to the emotional apex of my day--and straight back down even lower than I was before.
My Away Message: "Finally, I'm done with my school day. Please, somebody remind me that college is about more than just school work..."
Message From Holley: "It's not just about school work. It's about BEST FRIENDS and rice-wiches. It's about faking out safety and studying together while drinking a huge red bull. It's about counting analogies and lab partners. It's about late night hang outs just to watch That 70's Show and awesome haircuts. :) It's about always having a lunch date and Teen Girl Squad sessions. And unfortunately, lately, it's about missing all of those things. :("
God dammit Holly. I swear if I could cry I'd be doing it right now; but I can't. So instead, I'll just sit back and drift to sleep; let the waters rise above my head. And maybe, just maybe, I'll find some peace.
Times when on any given night I would find myself: playing Halo with the Sweet Suite guys, catching up on all the classic movies I missed out on with Eamon, playing Beer Pong and/or Civilization with Jason and John, talking about things that only we'd understand with Trevor, saying quotes from hilarious videos with Holly, singing my way through the New Testament with Nicole, having delicious drinks served to me by White, watching Disney movies with the Alpha Chi girls, hollaaaaaaa'in with Marcia; the list goes on and on.
And so as I sit here, neck deep in depression, I get a message from some girl named Holly. Amazingly, in one paragraph I am brought up to the emotional apex of my day--and straight back down even lower than I was before.
My Away Message: "Finally, I'm done with my school day. Please, somebody remind me that college is about more than just school work..."
Message From Holley: "It's not just about school work. It's about BEST FRIENDS and rice-wiches. It's about faking out safety and studying together while drinking a huge red bull. It's about counting analogies and lab partners. It's about late night hang outs just to watch That 70's Show and awesome haircuts. :) It's about always having a lunch date and Teen Girl Squad sessions. And unfortunately, lately, it's about missing all of those things. :("
God dammit Holly. I swear if I could cry I'd be doing it right now; but I can't. So instead, I'll just sit back and drift to sleep; let the waters rise above my head. And maybe, just maybe, I'll find some peace.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Free Writing #1
2/16/07
Call It Back
Call it back. You shout its name at the top of your lungs. It doesn't hear you. Call it back. You shout louder, your face flushes with the effort. Did it hear you? Call it back. Every bit of air in your lungs works in unison; your head aches and stars burst into vision. It was never listening. Your voice trails off, your scream becomes a sigh, heavy, dragging your knees into the cold ground. Cold. How can everything be so cold, when the sun shone so brightly only moments ago. It's because the cold is always waiting. Lurking. Lusting. It knows that no matter how bright the sun may shine, it must always follow it's set path. But the cold has nowhere to go, nowhere to be, except everywhere you are. And as soon as the sun's golden rays drip nonchalantly out of view, it takes over. Your world belongs to it now and it's grasp is tight. So run, run after that golden sun. Don't ever stop to catch your breath, because it won't stop for you. It won't turn when you call it back. But if you are so unlucky as to stop, and cold's icy cloak pases over you entirely, turn. Turn, face the monster, and endure. While the darkness may seem to last forever, eventually the sun will come back. And nothing is more glorious than the sight of it's golden rays stretching, reaching, clamoring to your rescue.
~Asclepius
Call It Back
Call it back. You shout its name at the top of your lungs. It doesn't hear you. Call it back. You shout louder, your face flushes with the effort. Did it hear you? Call it back. Every bit of air in your lungs works in unison; your head aches and stars burst into vision. It was never listening. Your voice trails off, your scream becomes a sigh, heavy, dragging your knees into the cold ground. Cold. How can everything be so cold, when the sun shone so brightly only moments ago. It's because the cold is always waiting. Lurking. Lusting. It knows that no matter how bright the sun may shine, it must always follow it's set path. But the cold has nowhere to go, nowhere to be, except everywhere you are. And as soon as the sun's golden rays drip nonchalantly out of view, it takes over. Your world belongs to it now and it's grasp is tight. So run, run after that golden sun. Don't ever stop to catch your breath, because it won't stop for you. It won't turn when you call it back. But if you are so unlucky as to stop, and cold's icy cloak pases over you entirely, turn. Turn, face the monster, and endure. While the darkness may seem to last forever, eventually the sun will come back. And nothing is more glorious than the sight of it's golden rays stretching, reaching, clamoring to your rescue.
~Asclepius
Friday, February 16, 2007
The Wave Acts To Correct Itself
I have never been one to hold a life motto. In junior high and high school, teachers constantly used the question "What's one motto you believe in?" as an ice breaker at the beginning of the year. I never really had an answer. There has never been a quote that I've truly embraced, and so I would think up the first cliche that came to mind and passed it off as my choice.
It is now, in my twentieth year of living, that I've finally found a quote I can call my motto.
"The wave acts to correct itself."
It's a nice little phrase I first read in The Seventh Gate, the final act in a seven book series called The Death Gate Cycle by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. If you are into the genre of fantasy I highly recommend it; it's a wonderful epic. The phrase itself isn't really anything groundbreaking, but what I like about it is the fact that it takes a cliche and presents it in a new and original light.
Imagine, if you will, a wave. Not a wave that you would see at a beach or in a pool, but a mathematical wave. It flows constantly, up and down; never ending, never beginning. This wave represents life. The ebbs and troughs represent the high and low points of life. When the wave is up, good things are happening and you feel like you are on top of the world, and when
the wave is down, so are your situations and emotions. Experiencing both sides is inevitable, as in order for the wave to continue it's never ending path, it must undulate between these two poles.
And so, no matter how bad things are in life, the wave will correct itself eventually and reach an equivalently high point. However, the opposite is also true. No matter how good things may seem to be going for you at the moment, eventually it will dip down again. It's the only way for our existence to continue. Everything has a wave, so this concept can be applied to everything, from the smallest of events, such as day to day experiences, to something as large in scale as the existence of our galaxy.
In a sense, it's just a romanticized description of ying and yang. However, it's a new way to describe it, which is what attracted me in the first place. And so, I have finally found a motto to call my own. It's not quite as trendy as Erica's "Go with the flow" or as memorable as Timon and Pumba's "Hakuna matata", but it's mine and I'm happy with it.
I don't know how long I will keep this motto, or for how long I will hold it as truth. I'm sure that in a few years I will discard it and adapt another one, but that's okay. After all, it's just the wave acting to correct itself.
~Asclepius
It is now, in my twentieth year of living, that I've finally found a quote I can call my motto.
"The wave acts to correct itself."
It's a nice little phrase I first read in The Seventh Gate, the final act in a seven book series called The Death Gate Cycle by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. If you are into the genre of fantasy I highly recommend it; it's a wonderful epic. The phrase itself isn't really anything groundbreaking, but what I like about it is the fact that it takes a cliche and presents it in a new and original light.
Imagine, if you will, a wave. Not a wave that you would see at a beach or in a pool, but a mathematical wave. It flows constantly, up and down; never ending, never beginning. This wave represents life. The ebbs and troughs represent the high and low points of life. When the wave is up, good things are happening and you feel like you are on top of the world, and when
the wave is down, so are your situations and emotions. Experiencing both sides is inevitable, as in order for the wave to continue it's never ending path, it must undulate between these two poles.And so, no matter how bad things are in life, the wave will correct itself eventually and reach an equivalently high point. However, the opposite is also true. No matter how good things may seem to be going for you at the moment, eventually it will dip down again. It's the only way for our existence to continue. Everything has a wave, so this concept can be applied to everything, from the smallest of events, such as day to day experiences, to something as large in scale as the existence of our galaxy.
In a sense, it's just a romanticized description of ying and yang. However, it's a new way to describe it, which is what attracted me in the first place. And so, I have finally found a motto to call my own. It's not quite as trendy as Erica's "Go with the flow" or as memorable as Timon and Pumba's "Hakuna matata", but it's mine and I'm happy with it.
I don't know how long I will keep this motto, or for how long I will hold it as truth. I'm sure that in a few years I will discard it and adapt another one, but that's okay. After all, it's just the wave acting to correct itself.
~Asclepius
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Hip Hip Hooray for Snow Day!
This is just one of the reasons why I left Florida and transfered to New York. SNOW! Inches upon inches of the glorious white fluff that makes me smile and laugh. Oh how I missed thee. It snowed a lot today. I mean a lot. There's probably over a foot of snow out there. Granted, that's not much at all compared to Oswego. They got hit with over a foot of snow today on top of the five feet of snow they got last week. I can't even imagine being in snow above my head. It actually sounds quite terrifying.
Classes were canceled University-wide today, so I spent it trudging across campus with my buddy Sean, exploring various buildings and breaking into the ones that were locked. Well, we didn't exactly break into the buildings. It was more of a sneaking through the back door type deal. It's not our fault they left one door out of twenty open. The door that was left unlocked was the one marked "Authorized Personnel Only", no less. That's practically demanding someone like myself to go in. I often let my curiosity get the best of me.
When the sun went down, the real party animals came out. Steve, Jeri, Haley, and Max joined Sean and I for a little event the Bingers like to call "traying". We smuggled several trays out of the dining hall and hit the hill leading to East Gym for some sledding action. It was incredibly fun, and only the second time I had ever sledded in my life. Good times were had by all and I'm pretty sure I'll have pneumonia by the morning, so overall it was an awesome day.
Unfortunately for myself, classes are in session for tomorrow, even though the amount of snow on the ground is still ridiculous. I have a huge Chem test tomorrow which I am positive I will fail spectacularly, not to mention the essay/poem/news article all due Friday. So, needless to say, tomorrow will suck balls. But it's OK, because today was an awesome day, so it's really just the world trying to balance itself out.
The wave acts to correct itself.
~Asclepius
Classes were canceled University-wide today, so I spent it trudging across campus with my buddy Sean, exploring various buildings and breaking into the ones that were locked. Well, we didn't exactly break into the buildings. It was more of a sneaking through the back door type deal. It's not our fault they left one door out of twenty open. The door that was left unlocked was the one marked "Authorized Personnel Only", no less. That's practically demanding someone like myself to go in. I often let my curiosity get the best of me.
When the sun went down, the real party animals came out. Steve, Jeri, Haley, and Max joined Sean and I for a little event the Bingers like to call "traying". We smuggled several trays out of the dining hall and hit the hill leading to East Gym for some sledding action. It was incredibly fun, and only the second time I had ever sledded in my life. Good times were had by all and I'm pretty sure I'll have pneumonia by the morning, so overall it was an awesome day.
Unfortunately for myself, classes are in session for tomorrow, even though the amount of snow on the ground is still ridiculous. I have a huge Chem test tomorrow which I am positive I will fail spectacularly, not to mention the essay/poem/news article all due Friday. So, needless to say, tomorrow will suck balls. But it's OK, because today was an awesome day, so it's really just the world trying to balance itself out.
The wave acts to correct itself.
~Asclepius
Monday, February 12, 2007
Procrastination...Yeah, You Know. [Spring Semester '07]
Any college student out there reading this blog knows exactly what this entry is about. Right now, I am supposed to be studying for an upcoming Chemistry exam. Instead, I created this blog; partly out of a desire to have a place to openly voice my opinion and ideas, but realistically as an excuse to keep me from doing the work I need to do at the moment.
I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it in Med School (if I even make it there at all). I have the worst study habits in the world, thanks to my wonderful High School education, which did nothing to prepare its students for college life. Not once did a teacher ever give a lecture on how to study and the importance of setting apart time in your day to devote to school work. Growing up, it was all about how fast I could get my homework done in order to go play video games. Now, in an academic environment where homework is pretty much non-existent, I can just jump straight into those video games (figuratively speaking) after class without any immediate repercussions. The repercussions always come though, believe me. They're hitting me as we speak.
It's about the fourth week of school here at my new University and I am so far behind in my Chem class that it would be a Christmas miracle if I scored double digits on this first exam. That's pretty much my fault, though. I hate Chemistry with every fiber of my being and use that as an excuse for not putting the correct amount of effort into it. I can't wait until my Chem requirements are done and I can focus on classes revolving around Biology.
Which reminds me, I am also ridiculously behind on my classes for graduation. It looks like I'll be a fifth year senior before I graduate. Hell, if I follow my heart and grab a double major in English, I may even be a sixth year senior. I shudder at the mere thought.
I don't think I would mind staying here an extra few years though. I like the people that I've met so far, and it wouldn't be too horrible to stay with them an extra year or so. No, I don't think it will be that bad at all.
Oh, speaking of cool people; Katie kicked off the third season of her radio show, Honk Your Horn with Katie Horn, tonight! I just got done listening to it. Good job Katie, you were awesome! I promise I'll call in and request something next week!
I guess I'll end this post and get back to finding new and inventive ways to not do my school work. As always, leave comments. Knowing someone has read this makes me want to write more.
~Asclepius
I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it in Med School (if I even make it there at all). I have the worst study habits in the world, thanks to my wonderful High School education, which did nothing to prepare its students for college life. Not once did a teacher ever give a lecture on how to study and the importance of setting apart time in your day to devote to school work. Growing up, it was all about how fast I could get my homework done in order to go play video games. Now, in an academic environment where homework is pretty much non-existent, I can just jump straight into those video games (figuratively speaking) after class without any immediate repercussions. The repercussions always come though, believe me. They're hitting me as we speak.
It's about the fourth week of school here at my new University and I am so far behind in my Chem class that it would be a Christmas miracle if I scored double digits on this first exam. That's pretty much my fault, though. I hate Chemistry with every fiber of my being and use that as an excuse for not putting the correct amount of effort into it. I can't wait until my Chem requirements are done and I can focus on classes revolving around Biology.
Which reminds me, I am also ridiculously behind on my classes for graduation. It looks like I'll be a fifth year senior before I graduate. Hell, if I follow my heart and grab a double major in English, I may even be a sixth year senior. I shudder at the mere thought.
I don't think I would mind staying here an extra few years though. I like the people that I've met so far, and it wouldn't be too horrible to stay with them an extra year or so. No, I don't think it will be that bad at all.
Oh, speaking of cool people; Katie kicked off the third season of her radio show, Honk Your Horn with Katie Horn, tonight! I just got done listening to it. Good job Katie, you were awesome! I promise I'll call in and request something next week!
I guess I'll end this post and get back to finding new and inventive ways to not do my school work. As always, leave comments. Knowing someone has read this makes me want to write more.
~Asclepius
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