The Power of Man

Going into this video, I was stoked. I could not wait to see some awesome explosion videos. By the end of it I was almost sick of seeing them, and couldn't help but think to myself, "My God, what have we done?"

#11 - Thou Shalt Not Drink

This weekend was the first of Winter Break. Having just completed my most stressful semester at Binghamton University, I couldn't wait to let loose and have a little fun with the guys. I spent Friday night hanging with the boys, drinking, being merry, and just enjoying being back home with my friends. The next morning, my mother picked me up from my friends house, and apparently, to my dismay, she was able to smell the liquor on me. Well, needless to say, the proverbial shit was flipped. The entire ordeal was actually pretty ridiculous in hindsight, but it has left me with the following thought: is drinking really such a bad thing?

What is it that send people into such a fervor over alcohol? For me, it is merely a form of entertainment. A common bond that people can gather around in times of celebration and merriment. More importantly, perhaps, it is a signifier of youth. I'm not saying that you have to drink if you are young, but rather that it is an activity to enjoy while young. When I graduate from college and get a real job, I'm going to settle down. There's no reason to go to house parties on weekends, or stay up late getting trashed when the real world sets in. Why not enjoy such luxuries now?

I don't believe that alcohol is some innocent pastime with a bad rep. In the hands of one who lacks self-control, it can lead to disaster. Homes can be broken, lives lost. However, why should those of us who do exhibit self-control be punished? I have never gotten into a fight, driven, gotten in trouble with authorities, or hurt myself while intoxicated. Why should I not be able to enjoy it then, so long as I keep up the good track record?

I write this both out of frustration with my parents, as well as a means of coming to terms with my feelings on the matting in a tangible way. I do not think that drinking alcohol is a sin, nor do I feel, as others have made clear to me, that I am going to hell for partaking in it. I'm still a good person, and still a good Christian. Well, I suppose that depends on whose definition of "Christian" you use, but that is another entry entirely.

What Stars Would Say

It's finals week, which means studying, procrastination, and tests. I don't have the time to make a real post, but wanted to get something up here anyway. I'm trying to commit myself to one post at least every 10 days, since my poor blog has been neglected as of late. Anyway, here is a poem I wrote last semester in my Creative Writing class. It was my first ever sonnet.

What Stars Would Say
By Michael Moreno

Lying down on Earth, grass beneath my back,
O how those stars blanket the sky at night.
Eons away, dots against endless black;
How they wash our world with pale, ashen light.
My desire: to lay among them, floating,
Forever wandering that black abyss;
Swimming through the cold stream of time, bathing
In that quiet ocean of nothingness.

Then I stop and wonder what they must say
As they twinkle their light for us on high,
“I wish that I could live to see the day
When we can breathe air, eat food, live our lives.”

“My one desire is to live in their midst,
Forever in that blue and green abyss.”

Integrity in the World of Video Game Journalism

Anyone who takes even a passing interest in gamer culture and news must have caught wind, by now, of the recent fiasco involving Gamespot.com and the firing of one of their long time editors and game reviewers, Jeff Gerstmann.

It all started last Thursday, November 29, when the rumor was leaked. Gerstmann was fired from the video game website Gamespot.com. What got forum browser's panties in such a bunch was the allegation that he was fired due to pressure from publisher Eidos Interactive, over Gerstmann's less than stellar review of their latest game, Kane & Lynch: Dead Men. Shortly after the incident, all of the Kane & Lynch advertisements--which were quite prominent--were pulled from the website.

What followed was a frenzy of internet reaction. Forums flooded with angry commenters voicing their opinions. Gaming website Destructoid.com changed their logo to better represent their feelings on the matter. Even a "Boycott Gamespot" movement stirred up in its wake.

As a journalist myself, I truly believe that one of the most important aspects of the profession is integrity, both personally and professionally. A journalist's job is to disseminate information; true information, to the best of his knowledge. If Mr. Gerstmann's firing was truly a result of pressure from advertisers, both Gamespot and Eidos should be ashamed, and deserve all of the bad press associated with it.

A reviewer of any specificity, be it books, movies, or video games, should be allowed to engage in their craft with total impartiality. If not, then there is no reason for reviewers to exist. After all, anyone with a good copy editor could write a review if they are told what to say and how to say it. Stripping a journalist of their ability to remain unbiased robs them of their creativity; to most writers, a fate worst than death.

Now, whether or not the cause of Gerstmann's firing is because of pressure from Eidos has not been proven yet. Gamespot released a statement a few days after the news broke that his departure had nothing to do with the review. However, it seems to me like nothing more than regulation damage-control.

Gerstmann has not been capable of giving the exact reason why due to the legalities surrounding the situation, however, he has spoken with Joystiq.com discussing what he can about the matter.

Unfortunately for Eidos, this debacle is not the only hot issue surrounding their new game. Apparently, the official website for Kane & Lynch has also sported some out of context review quotes, as well as doctored review scores. This recent discovery does nothing to help Eidos' image. If they could put up fake scores on their official website, would it be such a stretch for them to strong-arm good reviews from websites that host their advertisements?

Things may not look good for Eidos, but I think the true victim here is the gaming community. It has been an uphill battle for video games and the culture surrounding it to be taken seriously in the professional world, and all this does is detract from that hard work. Let us hope that these events do no more damage than may have already been done.

So Much For Diligent Posting; A Brief Return to Duty

I seem to recall mentioning previously that I would be using this blog as a means of procrastinating on my upcoming schoolwork for the semester. As it turns out, the situation has switched poles: I have so little time from completing all of my schoolwork and extra-curricular activities that I haven't had a chance to post since September. So why don't we start with a brief, bullet-point recap of the past two months.

- Hanging out with Matt, a lot. It's great having him here at school.
- Began skipping nearly all of my classes, sometimes out of laziness, sometimes because of other responsibilities.
- Pipe Dream started eating up all of my free-time.
- Inundated with work to catch-up with said skipped classes.
- Papers out the wazoo.
- Increased diligence with my Japanese studies.

That's the past two months in a nutshell. I'm not going to leave much else in this post, as I have to begin preparing for the four papers and one test that are due next week in my various classes. Until my next free moment, farewell.

The Prodigal Blogger Returns [Fall Semester '07]

And so, after a four month hiatus, I return to my blog. Usually during the summer I don't use my computer, save for checking Facebook and watching videos of European babies laughing. This resulted in a lack of posts on this blog, as well as a build up of e-mails in my mailbox, numbering somewhere in the hundreds. However, a new semester has begun, which means plenty of assignments for me to procrastinate on by posting on this site. Lucky me. Let's start with a re-cap, shall we?

The semester ended last year with a crappy series of final exams and plenty of goodbyes all around. I wound up with a GPA below 3.0 for the first time in my entire life, which sucks. Granted, the reason for the drop in grades is because I had no desire to do well in my biology and chemistry classes. I loathe chemistry with such passion it is almost unreal. However, some people refuse to acknowledge this, and would rather me do poorly in classes that I hate then do well in classes that actually interest me.

This summer vacation was by far the best I have ever experienced. It started off slow, not doing much more than playing video games and hanging out with Steeph. Things finally picked up in June, when my camp job started. Then it was parties every weekend and hangouts almost every night. I met a lot of cool people this summer, made some good friends, became a lot closer to some preexisting friends, and learned more about myself. The main point is, I actually had fun.

Against my parents wishes, I grew my hair out, and I actually think it looks pretty cool. A bit wild, a bit messy, but I like it and in the end that is what really matters.

And now I'm back in Binghamton, fighting the good fight and enjoying my new classes. All, that is, except for Microbiology, which I am taking in order to appease my parents with a Biology minor. Still, my English classes more than make up for it with their interesting and thought-provoking material. Theory seems like it will be a prime opportunity for good discussion; Race, Class, & Religion will be an equally interesting class, though quite work-intensive; and Shakespeare will be a good chance to expand my knowledge on the subject with a professor who seems about as crazy as Shakespeare himself.

In the end, I was able to return to school with a smile on my face, full of exclamations about what an awesome summer I had. And what made this summer so different then all previous summers? It wasn't the drinking, which there was plenty of. And it wasn't the great times spent sober with great people, although that is a large part of it. In the end, the answer is about as simple as they come: I stopped living for my parents and started living for myself. It seems like such a simple step, but it took me twenty years to take it and now, for the first time...

I FEEL ALIVE!

Beer and Biscuits

Yesterday kinda sucked. At least, for me it did. It was Cinco de Mayo, a day for celebration, debauchery, and of course, tequila. I experienced none of the above.

It started off with a long work shift at Aeropostale, where I worked my ass off all day, only to find out that the paycheck I had been waiting for was only 58 dollars. Fucking lame. They hardly give me any shifts there, I'm not certain if I'll be coming back next semester, unless I'm sure they'll be giving me better hours.

Then, after an hour long bus ride back to campus (which is only ten minutes away), I met up with Steve and James and hung out with them for a little while. We all decided we would go to the big Beer and Biscuits party, which meant I needed money for the taxi and the cover charge. I really wanted to go out and have a good time, so I took some money off my credit card, which wasn't very smart considering I'm really starting to get over my head with the amount of money I've taken from it. Anyway, we rode all the way to the party, and I realize I had left my hat in the taxi, which sucked big time. That's the second hat I had lost this semester, the first at a gas station on the way back from a Rocky Horror Picture show. I put my sour attitude aside though, because the party was looking pretty good. We met up with Katie and her cousin, and went upstairs. There were live bands, fresh biscuits, and fried chicken. Unfortunately, there were so many people there that we literally had to wait a half hour+ for the new batch to come out. The result was a feeding frenzy of drunk college kids taking tearing away at the tin container of chicken. The act was frighteningly reminiscent of vultures feasting in the wild. To our dismay, the party ran out of beer moments after we got there. How Mr. Reed expected only 4 kegs to provide ample alcohol for an expected 300 party-goers I'll never understand.

When I was a wee lad, my father taught me to always be conscious of my surrounding environment. While on the line for more chicken, I overheard someone whisper to the party host that the cops were outside. I immediately left the line, found my friends, and got us the hell out of there. We were outside before the crowd of fleeing students, and managed to grab the first taxi we saw waiting. Moments later we heard over the intercom that the party was busted and there was a mob of kids waiting for taxis.

When we arrived back on campus, everyone was in a foul mood. The twins were whining, Steve and James were in an argument, and I was upset over my hat. Fortunately, the driver had given us his business card in case we needed a ride after the party. I called him and he found the hat in his car, and brought it back to campus for me! Granted, he had to come back to campus to pick up more kids anyway but still it was awesome that I managed to get my hat back.

Upset that everyone was in a bad mood and that I wasted eleven dollars, I started walking around campus. Sean was busy studying, so I headed over to late nite with the intention of watching whatever was left of the zombie film marathon. Steve called me before I got comfortable though, and managed to convince me to go out to the Hookah bar, in a last ditch effort to salvage the night. It was a pretty decent time. It was my first visit to Cafe Oasis, and I found it to be alarmingly relaxing. The African decor, comfy furniture, and mood lighting created a really cool environment. The whole situation just screamed "college". Unfortunately, when we left, I also left my book, in which I used my newly acquired paycheck as a bookmark. So now, all I can do is hope that when Cafe Oasis reopens on Tuesday night, some kind worker will have put my book and paycheck aside so that I can claim it upon my return.

Long story short: yesterday sucked.

Odd Man Out

So, tonight Latenite held an event called the Evolution of Hip-Hop, presented by LASU (Latin American Student Union). I decided to swing by, since everyone I know is either busy or passed out. The place was filled with members from the organization. At first I was psyched; I'd never seen so many Hispanic people in one place on campus before. I stood near the door, since all the chairs were full, and watched the performer. I looked around at all the people in the audience, and that's when it hit me.

I am nothing like them.

I have absolutely no connection to my ethnicity and heritage, outside of my birth name and the color of my skin. I am middle class Caucasian to the core. Everything from the way I act, to the way I talk, to the things I am interested in.

Now, this isn't a bad thing. I was raised in white suburbia, so it only makes sense, as we are all products of our environment. It just sucks, because I don't belong in white suburbia. Regardless of how much progression this world has made in terms of acceptance, I know that there are people who view me with contempt and at times disgust.

So if I don't fit in with people of my ethnicity because of where I was raised, and I don't fit in where I was raised because of my ethnicity, where does that leave me?

It leaves me in limbo. A realm of perpetual loneliness where I have no place to call home and no one that can ever really understand.

This hurts.

Spring Fling

Hooray! This past Saturday was Spring Fling here in Binghamton! I'd been waiting all semester for this event, ever since I heard what bands had visited for previous Spring Fling events. Brand New, Taking Back Sunday, Motion City Soundtrack, Incubus, Straylight Run, just to name a few. Unfortunately, the band list wasn't quite as exciting since it consisted of a pretty old band, but still pretty awesome nonetheless: Head Automatica and Reel Big Fish!

The day started off with me meeting up with Steve early to get on all the rides. The event was to last from noon to five, and with knowledge of past events, Steve knew it would get crowded around 2pm. We were able to get on all the rides at least once, which was awesome! Especially the hammer-esque ride, which was a lot cooler then I expected it to be. I even met Steve's parents too. They were there just hanging out at the carnival. Random, but whatever.

We later met up with Katie, who apologized for the way the Treblemakers treated Steve and I the night before at their party. They were real dicks. They made it clear that we weren't wanted there, since it was a "Treblemakers only" party, which is complete bull because there were plenty of other people there, including Erica. Oh well, that's in the past and Katie had nothing to do with it. Sean showed up later too and together, we got on line for the hammer ride again! The line was so long, that Steve and I had time to go over to the fish game table, where they were giving away left over fish! I have a new pet now, his name is Reginald. I let Sean pick the name, since he agreed to be Reginald's godfather. ^_^

After the awesome hammer ride (which someone refused to get on because he's a wuss) I met up with Sean, who was on line for some fried oreo goodness. Unfortunately, since the carnival was closing, the line was horrendous. You couldn't even call it a line, it was a mob. No exaggeration, there were one hundred plus hungry college students clamoring for fried dough. I'm surprised the stand wasn't pushed over, it was that bad. One and a half hours later, I emerged triumphant with two orders of fried oreo in hand. I don't know if it was because of the wait and all the effort put into acquiring them, but those oreos were beyond delicious. It was the single best tasting thing I've had in my mouth all year.

Off to Katie's room for a tetris party and some rather pathetic pre-gaming, and then back to the Spring Fling grounds for the night concert. We found out upon our arrival that Head Automatica had to cancel and were replaced last minute with Sugarcult. Another old band, but still pretty cool, since I loved Sugarcult in high school. The concerts were awesome, but the crowd was filled with assholes who were pushing, moshing, surfing, and being completely inconsiderate of others. It was as if nobody had any sense of rock show etiquette. Oh well, it was still good times. I was covered in sweat and mud, Steve got scared and ran away twice, Katie held her own like a champ, and some guy lit up a blunt right in front of me. Pretty awesome time overall. Not to mention Katie caught Tim from Sugarcult's guitar pick, giving it to me, and I almost caught the drummer's stick! That would've made it all the more sweet, but it was still good times all around.

Afterwards, Sean met up with a clean Steve, Katie, James, and a muddy, sweaty me. We all went out to Tully's, an Applebee's style restaurant. The food was pretty good and we all had fun being in each other's company. Afterwards we all went back to Digman, sans Sean, and met up with Hayley, Jeri and Max. We decided to play dirty word scrabble, which was tons of fun except for James being a dick to Hayley. Their bickering really killed the mood a bunch of times. Regardless, it was still fun and we made some pretty sweet words: Vulvae, finger, STI, etc.

All in all, it was an awesome day. Good times and good memories with good people. I'm practically counting the days until next year's fling. Until then, it's back to the real world. Finals week, here I come.

Recap: April

This is why I have never been able to keep a journal/diary/blog/record before. I lack the conviction to update regularly and I am without anyone to hold me accountable. Oh well, deal with it. Instead of several small posts you get one huge one covering the entire month of April. Lucky you.

This month has been pretty hectic. With only a few weeks left until finals, it's getting down to the wire. I can't really remember everything that has gone on this month, so I'll just give some general updates until things become more clear.

Classes suck, for the most part. I've nearly given up entirely on Chem. I don't go to the lectures anymore, and I don't study for tests or quizzes. The only aspect that I actually put any effort into is the lab, because that grade will be my saving grace come the end of it. I try to attend all my Bio classes, but I haven't been able to wake up for any since Easter Break. I have made it to all the labs though, and I'm doing rather well there. I'm doing decently in Spanish, which is kind of pathetic. I should have a clear A in that class. I guess I'm just not giving it my all. Creative Writing seems to be the only class that I'm actually excelling in (surprise, surprise). I've been receiving a lot of positive criticism from my classmates on my work, which is great and much appreciated.

I can't believe I never wrote about Easter Break. It was quite the turning point in my life. It all started off with a trip to Boston to see Ishraq. First, I had to sneak unto a Greyhound bound for the city, because they told me that it was full and they were no longer taking passengers. I managed to find a seat for myself when the driver went inside the station to relieve himself. From there it was a four hour bus ride to the city, followed by a four hour bus ride to Boston. I spent the weekend there, and it was awesome. Hanging out with Ish in his new apartment and seeing all of my Boston friends was great. I was planning on attending a live performance by Amir Sulaiman, a crazy good slam poet. Unfortunately, he missed his flight and had to reschedule for the night I went home. I should have stayed an extra day, but whatever. I ate lots of good foreign food. Turkish, Lebanese, and Indian; so good. I even managed to meet up with Bobby my last night there, which was great. I hadn't seen him since the summer after Freshman year when he came to visit me on Long Island. Same ol' Bobby. We spent the night lost in the city of Boston, drinking Whiskey and Coke, talking about Harry Potter and just having a merry time.

So, I returned home that Sunday with a new resolve. I had spent the time since Spring Break beginning to learn the Japanese language. I had done some research, and with a little encouragement from Sean, decided on what I want to do with my life. I would switch to English as a major, and study Japanese. Then, upon graduating, I will go to Japan to teach English. I told my parents about this and, needless to say, they were a little shocked. My dad acted very much like he didn't care, and my mom immediately tried to fight me about it by asking me questions. She kept asking me questions over and over, trying to find a weak spot in my plan, looking for any place she could latch on to in order to break me down. But there was no weak point; I had done all of my research and new what I wanted to do inside and out. Eventually, she gave in to me and accepted it as what I wanted. I won. I've finally defeated my parents. It's been a long struggle to ascertain my independence, but it's finally come to a climax. My father is defeated, he no longer poses a threat to me. My mother has been beaten, but still hangs on. I don't think she will ever lose her resolve, but that's just her personality. I owe a lot of this to Sean. Without his support, I most likely would never have made this move.

Returning to school, everything was pretty much normal. I've been studying Japanese during my free time, working on my endless amounts of school work, studying for tests, writing for Pipe Dream, etc., etc. Things are looking pretty good, but I can't wait for the semester to be over. I need a break.

One Shitty Day

Well, this weekend was interesting. Saturday morning I started work at Aeropostale. It was a lot of fun and I did a real good job. In fact, I did so well that my boss kept me an extra three hours and scheduled me fore two extra hours on Sunday's shift. Extra work may not sound like a goodd thing, but all I see is extra dollars on my paycheck. I got back to school completely exhausted and had to take a nap, but managed to wake up just in time for the Rainbow Pride Union's 5th Annual Drag Show!

I was given the assignment of covering the Drag Show for Pipe Dream, which was great because I was planning on going anyway. A few of my friends were performing, and I was going to be there to cheer them on regardless. The show was incredibly fun and entertaining. All the queens and kings were amazing, and really worked the crowd. The place was packed, and it turned out that the show had sold out for the second year in a row. Lucky for me, my friends had snagged the closest table to the stage, and I got the closest seat at said table. Unfortunately, it was a little too close, and sometimes I saw a little too much, if you know what I mean. Grundels aside, the show was really good.

Katie stole the night with her boy transformation. It was really impressive, she cut her hair like a boy, gave herself thicker eyebrows, and colored on some facial hair. Talk about dedicating yourself to a performance. She looked like a twelve year old on growth hormones. Good job Katie.

But of course, the best part of the evening was Erica and Alice's Dick In A Box lip-sync. Their outfits were awesome; they both really looked like men. They also got the dance moves from the video down pact, all the way to Justin's three steps. It was really funny, and the entire audience was up in hysterics, laughing and cheering them on. And the grand finale? Both of their boxes held dildos within, which they held up to the audience on the last note. They were amazing.

I spent the rest of the night after the Drag Show hanging out with Steve, watching Star Trek: Voyager, because we're both closet geeks.

Sunday was another day at work, only this time it was shitty because my manager for the day decided to blame the fact that I didn't know how to work returns on the cash register on my own ineptitude, completely disregarding the fact that SHE failed to train me properly during my cash register training. But, I digress.

The remainder of the day was spent working on my event coverage story of the Drag Show. It took me all day, but it finally started to take shape by the time I fell asleep at 4:30am.

Monday I woke up at 7:30 for my first class of the day, and then skipped the remainder in order to make time to work on the Pipe Dream story. I literally sat in front of my computer from 10am to 4:30pm typing away at the paper and making phone calls to credible sources. I put so much effort into the story because I had been looking forward to writing it since the first week of March. It was around this time when everything went to shit real fast.

I contacted my editor to inform her of my completion of the story. I needed to ask her a few questions about quotations. I'll save you the long winded version of it (although it's actually just a selfish means of saving my fingers the agony of typing it all out) and just get to the point. Due to some miscommunication between my editor and the Release editor, I was not supposed to complete the assignment. Instead they wanted me to do some stupid captions for Weekend Warrior. Needless to say, I was pissed. Really really pissed. I had skipped classes, sacrificed my weekend, and even neglected studying for a test all to do a good job on this story, and they just threw it away as if it was nothing. AAAAAAAAGH It's so frustrating.

Things only got worse from there. Right after having my article rejected, I had to take my Biology test. The material was pretty easy, and had I studied I'm sure I would have done exceptionally well. However, I was working on the story, so instead I had to take educated guesses on about 45 of the 50 questions. I doubt the grade will come out well.

Pissed off even further, I decided to let off some steam by eating dinner. I grabbed the macaroni and cheese from Newing, because everything else was either unappetizing or too expensive. I don't know how, but they managed to burn the entire dish and still decided it was good to serve. Let me tell you, SODEXHO chefs, it was NOT good to serve. The first bite filled my mouth with the taste of burning plastic. I don't know if you readers have any idea of what the taste of burnt plastic is like, but let me tell you: IT'S DISGUSTING! And it doesn't go away either; it just lingers there for an hour or two, constantly mocking you for putting it in your mouth. As one might expect, I threw away the plate of food and decided to go for the next best thing: a raw vegetable salad. How could they screw that up, right? Well, I sat down at my table with a dish of clean ranch dressing and dipped my first forkful of greens into it. I began chewing it and actually enjoyed it, until I looked back at the ranch dressing. There, lying on it's back in my dressing was a large, black fly. I spit that mouthful of food up as well and angrily threw away my dishes. I wasted my dinner ration on food that I couldn't even eat, and I was starving since I had not eaten since breakfast earlier that morning.

I was so furious at this point that I decided to go for a walk after venting to Sean. And boy, did I walk. I don't know how far I went, or where I went. All I know is that I was gone for about two hours, I think I walked at least a mile and a half, and when I finally re-discovered where I was, I was about a quarter of a mile up Vestal Highway.

I made my way back to school and turned on Honk Your Horn with Katie Horn and Friend, Katie and Sean's radio program. I made it just in time to hear them dedicate a song to me, since I was having such a bad day. It was Mmbop, by Hansen. I couldn't help but break into laughter. They're such good friends, and I'm really glad I fell into their crowd.

Tomorrow is more work at Aeropostale, followed by a frenzy to finish all my other school work in before I go to bed, since Wednesday must be spent preparing for Chemistry and packing for Easter Break. Wish me luck.

My Faith In Humanity Restored

As of today, I can finally start eating again. I had run out of money on my student meal account card about a week and a half ago, and these last couple of days have been slim pickins. I'm pretty sure I lost about five pounds from malnutrition alone. It was sort of like I was a character on the Oregon Trail and Player set the food rations to meager. Now I know how they felt. Anyway, I think you get the point.

Still, the money that has been added is pretty low in and of itself, so I have been trying to spend no more then two to three dollars per meal, two meals a day. Today I went to dinner and the special was Teriyaki Pork. It looked delicious and they had one of the specialist chefs making it, so I decided to go for it. It was .34/oz. but I figured that it couldn't possibly tally up to that much. Besides, I had gone so long on bread and water that I owed myself at least one bout of splurging. Well, when it came time to ring the meal up, I was in for a shock. $8.84!!! That's two days worth of food on my new ration! Embarrassed, I told the cashier I couldn't afford it, and brought it back to the chef. I told him it looked delicious but I couldn't afford it and asked if he wanted it back or if I should just throw it all out. What happened next I never saw coming; he pulled me over to one of the inactive cash registers, turned it on, and payed for my meal with his own dinner card!!! I was so surprised and happy. It seems like nobody cares about anyone else anymore, but every now and then you get a completely selfless act like that. Joey would have been proven wrong.

Tomorrow morning I start work at Aeropostale, which I am extremely excited about. Only problem is I don't know anyone with a car, and buses don't start running until around noon, leaving me with no means of transportation. I'm going to have to pay for a taxi, even though I'm pretty damn near bankrupt. It's like the old saying goes, "you have to spend money to make money". Still, I wish it was only the other way around. I could live with that.

By the end of this summer though, I will have a car...hopefully. Damn, I need one badly.

Surprises

It has been little more than a week since my last post, but it feels like a semester has passed. I have been so inundated with school work that I had no time for anything else, let alone blogging. It really feels like last week was ages ago. But alas, that has passed and better times [hopefully] lie ahead.

Oh, surprise parties. One of the few true signs of being loved, I believe. After all, a group of people would not go through the trouble of organizing a party and keep it completely secret unless they really care about you.

This weekend, St. Patrick's Day, also happened to be my friend Katie's 21st birthday! She's an awesome person, and so her awesome friends decided to throw her an awesome surprise birthday bash. It was supposed to be off campus so that we could all take part in underage drinking and not have to worry about it. Unfortunately, for us, Mother Nature decided to throw a surprise of her own--in the form of a foot and a half of snow.

The snow made the roads treacherous, and we decided to call off the party for the sake of anyone having to brave the icy paths of Broome County. The party was nearly just another memory, when Erica and Steve decided to hold it in their room instead. It was a great idea; everyone managed to make it and Katie was completely surprised!

I felt bad the entire time before hand. She was completely depressed that no one wanted to hang out with her on her birthday. Everybody conveniently had something else to do (i.e. studying, downtown, etc.). It was totally worth it, though. She had no idea what was coming and the big surprise was really one of those moments that reminds you how fun life can be.

Needless to say, I got drunk. I hadn't drank since last semester in Florida, so my tolerance was feeble in comparison. I knocked them back like a champ though! I don't remember much of the night, unfortunately. I definitely remember kicking Steve's ass in a screwdriver chugging competition. And I remember eating cake with my hands, and playing Captain Planet, and skanking with Erica. The rest is all a blur. According to the multitude of Facebook pictures with myself tagged, it was a lot of dancing and laughing. Good times had by all.

Now I'm just trying to be a good student and keep up with my homework. So far so good, except that next week I will finally be starting my first couple of shifts at Aeropostale. It's awesome and I'm really excited, but I'm going to have significantly less time. It may even dip down into the negatives. That's right, I'll be so busy that I will transcend time as we know it. Sucks, doesn't it?

Chemistry homework calls, and I must finish it now if I want to have time to continue my Japanese studies later.

Sayoonara

Long Weekend Home

So these past few days were Binghamton University's "Spring Break", which was actually just a long weekend. We got Thursday and Friday off; lucky us.

Long story short, the weekend sucked hardcore balls. I decided that it was time to tell my parents that I don't want to go to medical school anymore. It didn't go too well. I knew it wouldn't go over well; I've been telling them for years med school is what I wanted, even though I've known since Freshman year that it wasn't for me. Still, I didn't think it would be this bad.

First, I told my dad. We were eating breakfast in Friendly's and I couldn't figure out how I was going to segue into it. I decided to just blurt out "I don't want to go to Med School!" His reaction? Anger. Next was my mom. I kinda just said that I had something to tell her, but she wouldn't like to hear it. She asked me to tell her anyway, so I said it. She seemed very calm about it for a while, asking me what I wanted to do instead, and I thought it was all good. Then she started to cry. I asked her why she was crying and she said "I'm just so disappointed. I already pictured you as a doctor." Needless to say, I spent the rest of the morning crying hysterically on the bathroom floor. I've never felt more horrible about myself then I did at that moment. My mom came to me later and apologized for how she reacted, saying that she was just shocked and surprised. But no matter what she says, it doesn't change the fact that I mad her cry from sheer disappointment.

The rest of the weekend was just a series of petty squabbles. Friday was the only good day, because I spent it all with Steeph, away from my parents. We hung out, laughed, watched funny videos, worked with Photoshop, and then ended the night with a double feature of Reno 911: Miami and 300. 300 was AWESOME by the way. I have nothing bad to say about it, but then again I am a sucker for the war epic. Give me a sword and some siege weaponry and I'll give you a golden review. :) Still, I would definitely go see it again in theaters, and that's a rarity for me.

Saturday night was my cousin Diali's sweet sixteen party! She's really grown into a beautiful young woman and I'm so proud of her. I can't believe my baby cus is already sixteen. It seems like just yesterday when she was falling asleep in bed next to me with a bottle of warm milk in her mouth. I hope that in the future, I can use my college experience to help guide her through hers. I only want the best for her, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let her go out into the world without any of the knowledge I've gained so far. I love you Dee.


That's all I got. It's Sunday and I have a Spanish test in approximately seven hours, thanks to my jackass teacher who thinks it's a cool idea to assign a test the day after break. Whatever, I'll knock it out and move on to this week's Chem test. Damnit, I hate Chemistry.

Snowfall

Snowfall
by Michael Moreno

The snow falls;
thick, heavy, choking out the air.
Always falling...falling...falling...
Like fairies; their wings too weak
from soaring into a sky of grey velvet.

From atop their perch among the clouds
they plummet. Motionless in the air, the
ground rushing to meet them
like a dog excited over the return
of its master. The ground moves swiftly

to greet, it's asphalt arms open wide,
yearning for embrace. And the little fairies,
beating their shriveled wings with such ferocity;
all to hold on to the race from which
they have already fallen. Their final struggle

is a brilliant dance. Their powdered bodies--
a royal white--zigzag left and right,
back and forth, always down, down, down,
down. That beautiful waltz,
those horror-filled death rows,

a last fleeting reminder of the beauty they once held. No
longer does it matter, their crystalline
bodies burst in a final display of grandeur, unable
to bear the concrete's insatiable love.

Clear, invisible; like the silent tears of unseen faces,
their blood flows over the ground
into every crack, crevice and pore;
until the Earth is saturated. The lucky
ones will come to rest on mountainous piles

of their fallen brethren. Safe for a while longer
in the bosom of those that came before it;
only to bear witness to the terror of
the wingless. Crushing their kind, with
such force that they unite, entirely, blending

with one another. A mass of fused flesh
united in death, bound by fear,
and hurled into the endless abyss.
Those are the truly lucky ones,
for they have found Nirvana.

God's Butthole(?)

I am currently taking a Creative Writing class here at Binghamton University. It's actually one of the few classes that I really look forward to attending. I've never had much experience with poetry, and that just so happens to be what the first half of the semester concentrates on. Up until now, the classes and poetry we've been reading have been great.

Recently, however, we were required to read some poetry by Maxine Kumin. I don't know, maybe I'm just too inexperienced to realize true poetry when I see it, but there's just something about her poetry that just doesn't sit right... I guess I'll just let you see it for yourself.

Heaven As Anus
by Maxine Kumin

In the Defense Department there is a shop
where scientists sew the eyelids of rabbits open
lest they blink in the scorch of a nuclear drop

and elsewhere dolphins are being taught to defuse
bombs in the mock-up of a harbor and monkeys
learn to perform the simple tasks of draftees.

It is done with the electric shocks. Some mice
who have failed their time tests in the maze
now go to the wire unbidden for their jolts.

Implanting electrodes yields rich results:
alley cats turn from predators into prey.
Show them a sparrow and they cower

while the whitewall labs fill up with the feces of fear
where calves whose hearts have been done away
with walk and bleat on plastic pumps.

And what is any of this to the godhead,
these squeals, whines, writhings, unexpected jumps,
whose children burn alive, booby-trap the dead,
lop ears and testicles, core and disembowel?

It all ends at the hole. No words may enter
the house of excrement. We will meet there
as the sphincter of the good Lord opens wide
and He takes us all inside.

Wow... Just wow. I don't even know what to say. I guess all I can do is sit back and pray for the day when God welcomes me into his gaping anus.

Two(2) Four(4) Zero (0)

It's Friday, which means the new issue of Pipe Dream has been released. I picked it up today, and immediately began searching for my Exercise story. I looked through every page, not finding anything until I reached the sports section. You know, that other side of the paper that no one really reads anyway. Perplexed, I assumed that the story had been put aside for next Tuesday's issue due to lack of space. I turned to the cover of the paper to begin reading through my fellow writers articles, when suddenly, there it was. My story, making cover again! And this time, not just the second story squeezed into the cover. It was the main headline!!! I am so psyched. I love writing, and the fact that the News Editors think my work is good enough to have the front page both times is such a huge confidence booster. I can hardly believe it. My first two news articles EVER, and I made front page both times. I really am amazed.

This only confirms my desire to be a writer. I'm sure now that this is what I will ultimately be doing in my life. Yes, I still plan on becoming a doctor. I truly feel that I will find my true joy in writing, regardless of where my medical profession leads me.

Hooray for clarity!

What School Is Really About

Well, it's Thursday night and another weekend lies teasingly out of reach. Lately, weekends have been getting me down. In fact, I become down-right emo when the weekend rolls around. Why, you ask? Because I've transferred to a new school and I only know a handful of people. That, coupled with the fact that I don't have a car to drive myself around in, means that my weekends are usually dead. And now, all I can do is sit in my room and try to study, while my mind drifts to happier times.

Times when on any given night I would find myself: playing Halo with the Sweet Suite guys, catching up on all the classic movies I missed out on with Eamon, playing Beer Pong and/or Civilization with Jason and John, talking about things that only we'd understand with Trevor, saying quotes from hilarious videos with Holly, singing my way through the New Testament with Nicole, having delicious drinks served to me by White, watching Disney movies with the Alpha Chi girls, hollaaaaaaa'in with Marcia; the list goes on and on.

And so as I sit here, neck deep in depression, I get a message from some girl named Holly. Amazingly, in one paragraph I am brought up to the emotional apex of my day--and straight back down even lower than I was before.

My Away Message: "Finally, I'm done with my school day. Please, somebody remind me that college is about more than just school work..."

Message From Holley: "It's not just about school work. It's about BEST FRIENDS and rice-wiches. It's about faking out safety and studying together while drinking a huge red bull. It's about counting analogies and lab partners. It's about late night hang outs just to watch That 70's Show and awesome haircuts. :) It's about always having a lunch date and Teen Girl Squad sessions. And unfortunately, lately, it's about missing all of those things. :("

God dammit Holly. I swear if I could cry I'd be doing it right now; but I can't. So instead, I'll just sit back and drift to sleep; let the waters rise above my head. And maybe, just maybe, I'll find some peace.

Free Writing #1

2/16/07

Call It Back


Call it back. You shout its name at the top of your lungs. It doesn't hear you. Call it back. You shout louder, your face flushes with the effort. Did it hear you? Call it back. Every bit of air in your lungs works in unison; your head aches and stars burst into vision. It was never listening. Your voice trails off, your scream becomes a sigh, heavy, dragging your knees into the cold ground. Cold. How can everything be so cold, when the sun shone so brightly only moments ago. It's because the cold is always waiting. Lurking. Lusting. It knows that no matter how bright the sun may shine, it must always follow it's set path. But the cold has nowhere to go, nowhere to be, except everywhere you are. And as soon as the sun's golden rays drip nonchalantly out of view, it takes over. Your world belongs to it now and it's grasp is tight. So run, run after that golden sun. Don't ever stop to catch your breath, because it won't stop for you. It won't turn when you call it back. But if you are so unlucky as to stop, and cold's icy cloak pases over you entirely, turn. Turn, face the monster, and endure. While the darkness may seem to last forever, eventually the sun will come back. And nothing is more glorious than the sight of it's golden rays stretching, reaching, clamoring to your rescue.

~Asclepius

The Wave Acts To Correct Itself

I have never been one to hold a life motto. In junior high and high school, teachers constantly used the question "What's one motto you believe in?" as an ice breaker at the beginning of the year. I never really had an answer. There has never been a quote that I've truly embraced, and so I would think up the first cliche that came to mind and passed it off as my choice.

It is now, in my twentieth year of living, that I've finally found a quote I can call my motto.

"The wave acts to correct itself."

It's a nice little phrase I first read in The Seventh Gate, the final act in a seven book series called The Death Gate Cycle by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. If you are into the genre of fantasy I highly recommend it; it's a wonderful epic. The phrase itself isn't really anything groundbreaking, but what I like about it is the fact that it takes a cliche and presents it in a new and original light.

Imagine, if you will, a wave. Not a wave that you would see at a beach or in a pool, but a mathematical wave. It flows constantly, up and down; never ending, never beginning. This wave represents life. The ebbs and troughs represent the high and low points of life. When the wave is up, good things are happening and you feel like you are on top of the world, and when the wave is down, so are your situations and emotions. Experiencing both sides is inevitable, as in order for the wave to continue it's never ending path, it must undulate between these two poles.

And so, no matter how bad things are in life, the wave will correct itself eventually and reach an equivalently high point. However, the opposite is also true. No matter how good things may seem to be going for you at the moment, eventually it will dip down again. It's the only way for our existence to continue. Everything has a wave, so this concept can be applied to everything, from the smallest of events, such as day to day experiences, to something as large in scale as the existence of our galaxy.

In a sense, it's just a romanticized description of ying and yang. However, it's a new way to describe it, which is what attracted me in the first place. And so, I have finally found a motto to call my own. It's not quite as trendy as Erica's "Go with the flow" or as memorable as Timon and Pumba's "Hakuna matata", but it's mine and I'm happy with it.

I don't know how long I will keep this motto, or for how long I will hold it as truth. I'm sure that in a few years I will discard it and adapt another one, but that's okay. After all, it's just the wave acting to correct itself.

~Asclepius

Hip Hip Hooray for Snow Day!

This is just one of the reasons why I left Florida and transfered to New York. SNOW! Inches upon inches of the glorious white fluff that makes me smile and laugh. Oh how I missed thee. It snowed a lot today. I mean a lot. There's probably over a foot of snow out there. Granted, that's not much at all compared to Oswego. They got hit with over a foot of snow today on top of the five feet of snow they got last week. I can't even imagine being in snow above my head. It actually sounds quite terrifying.

Classes were canceled University-wide today, so I spent it trudging across campus with my buddy Sean, exploring various buildings and breaking into the ones that were locked. Well, we didn't exactly break into the buildings. It was more of a sneaking through the back door type deal. It's not our fault they left one door out of twenty open. The door that was left unlocked was the one marked "Authorized Personnel Only", no less. That's practically demanding someone like myself to go in. I often let my curiosity get the best of me.

When the sun went down, the real party animals came out. Steve, Jeri, Haley, and Max joined Sean and I for a little event the Bingers like to call "traying". We smuggled several trays out of the dining hall and hit the hill leading to East Gym for some sledding action. It was incredibly fun, and only the second time I had ever sledded in my life. Good times were had by all and I'm pretty sure I'll have pneumonia by the morning, so overall it was an awesome day.

Unfortunately for myself, classes are in session for tomorrow, even though the amount of snow on the ground is still ridiculous. I have a huge Chem test tomorrow which I am positive I will fail spectacularly, not to mention the essay/poem/news article all due Friday. So, needless to say, tomorrow will suck balls. But it's OK, because today was an awesome day, so it's really just the world trying to balance itself out.

The wave acts to correct itself.

~Asclepius

Procrastination...Yeah, You Know. [Spring Semester '07]

Any college student out there reading this blog knows exactly what this entry is about. Right now, I am supposed to be studying for an upcoming Chemistry exam. Instead, I created this blog; partly out of a desire to have a place to openly voice my opinion and ideas, but realistically as an excuse to keep me from doing the work I need to do at the moment.

I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it in Med School (if I even make it there at all). I have the worst study habits in the world, thanks to my wonderful High School education, which did nothing to prepare its students for college life. Not once did a teacher ever give a lecture on how to study and the importance of setting apart time in your day to devote to school work. Growing up, it was all about how fast I could get my homework done in order to go play video games. Now, in an academic environment where homework is pretty much non-existent, I can just jump straight into those video games (figuratively speaking) after class without any immediate repercussions. The repercussions always come though, believe me. They're hitting me as we speak.

It's about the fourth week of school here at my new University and I am so far behind in my Chem class that it would be a Christmas miracle if I scored double digits on this first exam. That's pretty much my fault, though. I hate Chemistry with every fiber of my being and use that as an excuse for not putting the correct amount of effort into it. I can't wait until my Chem requirements are done and I can focus on classes revolving around Biology.

Which reminds me, I am also ridiculously behind on my classes for graduation. It looks like I'll be a fifth year senior before I graduate. Hell, if I follow my heart and grab a double major in English, I may even be a sixth year senior. I shudder at the mere thought.

I don't think I would mind staying here an extra few years though. I like the people that I've met so far, and it wouldn't be too horrible to stay with them an extra year or so. No, I don't think it will be that bad at all.

Oh, speaking of cool people; Katie kicked off the third season of her radio show, Honk Your Horn with Katie Horn, tonight! I just got done listening to it. Good job Katie, you were awesome! I promise I'll call in and request something next week!

I guess I'll end this post and get back to finding new and inventive ways to not do my school work. As always, leave comments. Knowing someone has read this makes me want to write more.

~Asclepius